A new venture

As with all establishments in the post Thatcher era, Rampwick can no longer exist by simply providing an environment that is safe for both it's inmates and the surrounding population. Accordingly we have now branched out and are offering psychiatric care to the wider community. Obviously there are security issues, and whilst the idea of mixing outpatients with the convicted criminally insane might seem a little odd at first, it fits in ideally with the governments stated objectives of pursuing profit at every opportunity and saving them the expense of providing care themselves.

We at Rampwick are proud to be leading the way in trying out old treatments on new problems.

A patient coming to us asking for help in overcoming say, a morbid fear of loud noises might at first find it odd to be sharing a session with someone who gratuitously killed seven people in a bank raid, but soon realises that a discussion with a real expert on the effects of shotgun blasts can quite alter his or her perspective on the subject.

Likewise a recovering alcoholic might initially be surprised to be taken to the ECT room , but once again treatment that at first sight might appear irrelevant can have really surprising effects and here at Rampwick we are making every effort to see what our expertise can achieve in hitherto untried areas .

Cost as always , is a major factor in any care program and here at Rampwick we have found many ways to keep expense down.* Here we are following the lead set by the NHS though without the top heavy management structure.

Our out- patient staff are learning the ropes particularly well considering their lack of skills in the English language and the fact that the Yorkshire moors do not see many cases of amoebic dysentry or malaria. However with global warming an ever present threat , it is is well to stock up on the more esoteric skills.

Accordingly we invite any troubled members of the public to contact us with requests for help (and a quote. )

Following on from the success (?) of NHS Direct we too now have an automated help line , for assistance in making the correct choice when asked, CLICK HERE

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*Rampwick do not hold themselves responsible for any loss or impairment of mental faculties however caused.

If any member of the public has any complaint regarding Rampwick, it's staff or this site they are welcome to contact our PR director who will give the appropriate response

Rampwick - A New Venture